the newbie

DIARY OF A WANNABE GOTTA BE VEGGIE GIRL

This is my first blog...yes it is 2008, ha ha. I have always been working towards being a veggie girl, but to be honest have been quite lazy about actually comitting to it. So this past weekend, as I worked on packing to move to my first big girl apartment (no one but me and my kitty babies) I stopped thinking and started doing.

Not having a lot of food in the house because you are moving is a good time to start fresh. My life has been in a tailspin since I was diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma - IDC (thats boob cancer for the lay person) in November of 2005. Not wanting to kick the bucket just then, I had surgery, chemo, radiation, and reconstruction, then dealt with being diagnosed with Lupus just one month before the cancer. I was married, but my slimey husband decided that I was no fun since I was bald and sick from chemo, and decided to find someone else to make him "smile" as he put it. Little did I know he was cheating until I started channeling Veronica Mars. He got the house and the tramp, I got my 401K and my freedom. I left 2 dogs behind, which tears at me daily, but took the kitties (having lymph nodes taken out meant I can't handle more than 10lbs, and Sammy is a moose at 95lbs) and found a roomie. I've been here a year and it has been full of ups and downs, re-learning how to be single again after so many years, and finally working on taking full control of my life.

Okay, that was a downer, but seriously I am doing well. I just want to be well-er. Yes, thats a word in the sassygirl dictionary. A 25-cent one I might add. I digress.

I started hearing of a documentary called Crazy Sexy Cancer last fall, and kept missing it, but was so intrigued by this young woman that was my age that was kicking cancer squaw where it hurts, I just had to see her speak at a local "I'm Too Young For This" retreat thingy. She was all raw power, excuse my pun. She advocates eating a raw diet (at least 80/10) and I said to myself, this sounds nutty and a pain in the ass. But there she was, glowing with stage 4 cancer (nope, there is no stage 5.)

Everyone got a copy of her book, Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips, and I was really excited to read that. I found out through her documentary site that there was now My Crazy Sexy Life, an online community of not just cancer people, but all sorts of people. Veggies, Cancers, Auto Immuners, Peace people, Animal people, Green people (not the alien kind either.) ;)

I went offline all winter, trying to find my inner peace again after being on that roller coaster for so long. I stayed in bed for days at a time, dragging myself to work during the week and feeling like Polar Bear-ism was the way to be. I didn't want to see or be seen, let alone start any new diets. I lived on Annie's mac and cheese, Amy's frozen food, hot and cold cereal, and the occasional yummy dinner upstairs at my cousin's. I used to cook when I ate poultry and fish (I've been mammal free for 10 years), but that was more for when I had someone to cook for (and he was all meat n' potatoes. Definitely not meant to be.) What the hell do you make for one? Lately I started experimenting with frozen veggie crumble things, pasta, and veggies. I enjoyed that for a while, but didn't feel great. Having Lupus means I get tired a lot and achy from my cells attacking the crap out of each other.

Like everyone who is sick, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired!

So, okay. Time to get off my butt. Now, where do I start? I don't know the first thing about quinoa (okay well I know it exists) and I recently read about durian and how it stinks, but how do I make sure I'm getting enough nutrients and protein and all that? I am off dairy (save for a few types of cheese) and decided to dump the wheat and gluten too (I talked to some auto immune peeps and they vow that that stuff causes inflammation) so I am really out in the middle of the woods. I went food shopping the other day and really started reading labels, although I also keep hearing how a lot of wheat/gluten is hidden and you really have to make sure. But how is the question. I don't think I'm allergic to it thankfully, I just want to see how I feel without that added stuff.

TO RAW OR NOT TO RAW

Okay, so when I move next week, I will be out of some major cash, and don't have money for a good juicer. I don't even have a blender right now (why I didn't take that from the D-I-V I don't remember) soooo what to do?

I'm just gonna take it one day at a time. Its late, and I haven't even had dinner yet. Thats my other problem, I come home to check one thing online and four hours later I'm like, crap! Its time for bed. Real healthy eh?

Time to do phys therapy on my foot (40 miles for the Avon Walk can really screw you up.) and get some rest for another day at the cubicle farm. Okay, I have an office so I'll shut up. But no natural light is bad, especially for an outdoor lover like me.

Breakfast - strawberry yogurt (finishing up what I bought and switching to soy), Flax oatmeal with raisins.

Lunch - Ethnic gourmet panak paneer. Yes frozen. Yes cooked. But veggie! I will get to changing that.

Dinner - pumpkin flax granola cereal with fresh strawberries, 1 glass OJ.

Okay, I ate like crap today basically. I'm a bit lazy and financially strapped so I panic at the grocery store like a deer in headlights. Hopefully I never hit a deer.